The Do’s and Don’ts
Eating in Japan will surely be some of your favourite food memories. Japanese people have very strict table manners and even though you may not be Japanese, it’s very important to learn the Japanese way of eating. There are some basic rules but there are some that are more intricate.
If you are reading this because you are about to go to Japan for the first time, I’m super excited for you!!!
I first went to Japan on a working holiday visa. To be honest, I was a 21 year old kid who barely knew anything about Japanese culture and rules. Thinking back to when I first arrived I must have made a right fool of myself. I quickly learnt table manners and food rules. Now I’m quite versed in these rules I see other non Japanese making the same mistakes I once did. SMH!
Fortunately Japanese people are extremely forgiving and will happily coach you. In fact they LOVE showing you the way they eat Japanese food. Eating with a Japanese person will actually teach you eating habits that you will take home. They become PART of you and the way you conduct yourself at the dining table.
Here is a list of Japanese table manners that you should know so you don’t break the balance of Japanese culture.
1) Never plonk your chopsticks vertically in a bowl of rice. This is a custom used in funerals and not at the dining table. Putting a pair of chopsticks vertically in a rice bowl is used as an offering to the deceased person. It’s one of the BIGGEST taboos at a dining table and a very common mistake for a non Japanese person to make.
When you’re not eating, place your chopsticks on the chopstick rest that is given to you. However, if you have received disposable chopsticks, use the paper sleeve to create some origami magic and make one yourself. This is actually fun. GET CREATIVE!!!
2) Never pass food from your chopsticks to someone else’s chopsticks. This is another massive no-no! Once again this is a funeral custom. *warning graphic information* Kotsuage is a ceremony for the close family. The body is cremated and the family member will pick out the bones from the ashes with special chopsticks and pass them to each family member and then transfer them into an urn. Doing this at a dining table reminds Japanese people of this ceremony.
Again this is a very common mistake that I actually made when I first arrived in Japan. Now I have the occasional newbie try to pass food to me and it actually freaks me out.
3) Eat your food with chopsticks and don’t play with them. Yes this means you can’t show off how well you play “wipeout” on the drums or proving your samurai skills. It’s also bad manners in western cultures to play with your cutlery.
4) Don’t use the narrow end of the chopsticks to take food from a communal dish. If there’s a communal dish, perhaps noodles or okonomiyaki, turn your chopsticks around so you are picking the food out with the wider end. This is for hygiene reasons and is easy to remember. Keep your spit to yourself.
5) Pick your rice bowl up off the table when eating from it. This is another one that is pretty simple to turn into a good habit. This is to do with sitting up straight when you’re eating. You should never bend your head down at the table to consume your food. Japanese cuisine is pretty much prepared as bite sized pieces to put into your own bowl. This applies for miso soup too. Miso soup should be picked up and sipped from the bowl.
Watch some anime and you’ll soon see the characters eating like this. Also try not to leave a single grain of rice. Heads up to keep your head up.
6) If someone pours you a drink, DON’T let them pour their own drink too. This is easy to do if there are only two people at the table. It can be a tricky affair with larger gatherings as there are a lot of variables.
At a larger gathering you should basically watch and learn. You will see what is happening. It can be quite funny and entertaining. So much so that you will WANT to get in on the action, especially if it’s an informal gathering. If you notice someone’s glass is nearly empty, especially beer or sake, pick up the communal bottle and pour it for them.
If someone is pouring for you, be sure to pick up your glass with 2 hands, bow your head and say Arigato gozaimasu “thankyou.” I quite often hear complaints from younger Japanese females that it’s tiring for them to be at a work dinner because they are the ones responsible for making sure everyone has a full glass.
As I mentioned, this one is a bit trickier to master but it’s fun learning! Also Japanese people really appreciate when you know this custom.
7) Ramen rules. If you’re reading this and you got this far, I’m pretty sure you are a ramen fan. A couple of rules that are important.
First rule, is to slurp your ramen loud and proud. The ramen is always piping hot, so you use your mouth as a vacuum cooler. Don’t be shy, slurp away!
Second rule, eat and leave. Ramen shops rely on quick turnovers so don’t hang around for long chatting with your friends (even if it’s not busy)
I lived in a small town for a few months called Onomichi. It’s in Hiroshima and it’s very famous for ramen. I was at a ramen shop with a girl, her father and an extremely wealthy man of Hiroshima. The ramen shop was their favourites and it was spectacular. I was taking my time savouring every slippery, slurp of noodle and broth. They were already finished and I felt like I was just getting started. I could feel them watching the clock and watching me. AWKWARD! The girl later explained the rule to me and I’ve since never made that mistake again.
8) Don’t lick or suck your chopsticks. I don’t need to go into detail with this one. Just refrain.
9) This can be by far the most torturous. Drinking rules. Once the drinks are arriving, refrain from drinking yours until everyone has their drink. Sometimes with a large group this can take a while but you MUST wait for everyone to get a drink. There will be a toast, usually by the boss or the senior person there. They will usually say KANPAI which means “cheers” or OTSUKARE which is something you say at the end of a day’s work. Don’t get all excited and start chugging down your beer before the toast.
10) As with rule #9, don’t start eating before anyone else.
11) Learn how to say ittadakimasu. This is what you say before you eat. When you’re finished you say gochisousama deshishita. You can shorten this to simply gochisousama which is less formal. This is a way of saying thankyou. It’s also a nice thing to say to the restaurant staff or chef on the way out of the Japanese restaurant. They will definitely feel happy hearing it from you.
12) Show appreciation for the food you are eating. This isn’t difficult because the food is always good in Japan. A Japanese person will wait with bated breath as you try the food. After your first bite, always look amazed and let out the word UMAI! It means “amazing” and can also be used to describe something like a good singer or guitarist. You could also say OISHII! This means delicious. If you drag out the OI to say OOOOIIIIIISHI! It makes it sound even more delicious! Learn these words and thrive at the table.
There are exceptions to this rule. If a Japanese person is getting you to try natto (fermented soy beans) they will be expecting a negative reaction for comedic reasons. It has a strong, pungent smell and the consistency of mucus. If you hate it, the more animated you are about it, the better they will feel about their prank! I personally love natto so it doesn’t work on me.
13) If you are entering tatami mat floor, be sure to take off your shoes. This will encourage you to have a good collection of socks. Holes free please! And if you own a smelly pair of shoes, don’t wear them in Japan. Nobody wants to smell your stinky feet whilst eating. Everyone will think natto is being served.
14) Tipping isn’t a Japanese custom. It’s not expected and can be seen as bad manners.
15) If you have a dietary requirement, you will need to learn how to say it in Japanese. You can’t expect a Japanese staff member to understand you saying “I’m gluten intolerant” or “I can’t eat raw shellfish.” If you find it difficult to say, have it written down or on your phone.
16) No double dipping. If there is a communal dipping sauce, don’t double dip.
17) Savour every moment. This isn’t about Japanese table manners, this is my strong advice to you. A Japanese dining experience is going to blow your mind. Everything they do is with love, care and passion. Each dish, whether it be a formal restaurant or casual dining, is created to make your palate sing with joy. There is also a lot of pride in the presentation so have a good look at it and admire the beauty. Even the food at a 7/11 or a McDonalds is going to be better than any other in the world. So be sure to stop and smell the roses, take your time and enjoy each mouthful of deliciousness.
Whether you are in a formal setting or eating at a sushi train, observe Japanese dining etiquette. Observations are one of the best ways to learn.
Ps If you haven’t burnt your mouth with tako-yaki, you haven’t lived. You’ll know what I mean when you get there.